Boundary Magic

In our continued journey to upspiral, understanding and respecting eachother’s limitations is often overlooked. By glazing over this key component, we will get in our own way and create blockages. This directly limits our capacity to receive abundance! Let me explain...

For instance, let’s say you have a friend who often vents to you, but rarely gives you the space to reciprocate (and if they are giving you space, they aren’t engaged). It can become increasingly frustrating to witness your relationship is not as balanced as you would like. However, this is when we must set the Ego aside and ask if it’s even fair to impose this set expectations on the other person, given their behaviour does not reflect any capacity for support. But maybe they aren’t even self-aware, which is often the case.

If you decide to tell said friend how you feel and they evidently choose not to change their behavior, don’t let them gaslight you and stick to the facts. Review your capacity and limits while assessing if this friendship is enabling growth, joy and mutual love. Remember that while relationship’s cannot be 50/50 all the time, in a constant imbalanced relationship of 80/20, you should instill limitations to conserve your energy. You deserve investment from others too, after all!

While some relationships are more one-sided, pull back on how much energy you insert into the companionship, if not altogether. By constantly fueling a relationship you overall receive so little joy from, you are syphoning your life flow. While you may not feel it, the Law of the Universe sees you as watering a dead plant. In the garden of life, we all water dead plants by mistake, but we should not waste valuable resources by doing so intentionally. This directly interrupts our receipt of energy.

This example is exactly why we get so frustrated when we pour all our heart into someone who doesn’t express gratitude, kindness, or even reciprocation in our time of need. We can feel the imbalance and how it’s making us feel small when we are always the one listening actively and consoling with care, all the while making excuses for the other person who can’t give us the same considerations.

It’s not cruel to set a boundary when the other person does not have capacity to give us what we need. It’s a kinder way to live, in my opinion, to not expect a person to give us something they can’t.

Expectations are a great way to set a relationship up for failure.

On the other hand, boundaries are a great way to evaluate if a relationship is right for you.

The real questions is, why are you waiting to remove the blockage? It usually boils down to fear. And the fear is more often than not about what other people will think! And perhaps how you will adjust to having one (or two) less people in your life that were a reliable constant - even if they were a Negative Nancy/Norman, they were part of a habit. Habits are hard to change, nomatter how good the change is. Our brains are delightfully wired to find comfort in habitual behaviour, even if that it’s detrimental to our health.

So, darling, this is your call to stop waiting and to start evaluating what no longer serves. You are worthy of more! And you can’t receive more if you are accepting less than.